Read a Book Mom….
December 5, 2018
In a previous post I mentioned that my son suggested I read a book written from an addict’s perspective so I could try and find some understanding into the world I feel so uneducated about. Even though I have joined groups, go to meetings, meet other parents in the same situation, I still struggle with understanding addiction. I am baffled when my son relapses or when I hear about someone’s child that has significant sober time and seems to be doing well but relapses. I have been focused on the physical “pull” from drugs—I assume if new habits are formed without using drugs (i.e. being in rehab or jail), the craving for their drug of choice goes away. If the craving goes away….problem solved. I have been naive to all the underlying stuff—–for my son, its the overwhelming task of figuring out “who he is” as a sober young man. When sober, he has to face the things that maybe he was escaping from; the depression and anxiety he self-medicated for; facing the things he has done and people he has hurt; the family that he feels he doesn’t fit into; the society that stigmatizes drug addicts. This is just the things he talks to me about. I know there are probably things I don’t know about.
I started reading We All Fall Down by Nic Sheff. I am only 40 pages in and it is really hard to read. I think there are still things I wish I didn’t know or would rather just stay in the dark. As tough as I think this book is going to be, I hope I find a deeper understanding of addiction, recovery and the life-long journey my son is on. There is still a part of me that believes this addiction phase will pass and then he will be done and go on with his life. Wishful thinking??
So many years into this, my impressi ok n is that recovery is the exceptu I’ll n rather than the norm. And even in recovery, so many relapse years later.
Read the book, hopefully get insight.
And yeah, imo wishful, hopeful thinking….